an Adult View

"You can't be serious! Internet dating?" Janice actually rolled her eyes at her sister. "What's so wrong with wanting to explore my dating options?" Lynn replied. "I just think it's stupid," Janice continued, "I mean you can't feel someone through a computer. You don't even know who you are really corresponding with!" Lynn just sighed and let her sister continue her rant. She actually thought that internet dating was an interesting idea since a co-worker had turned her on to the idea.

Lynn was a beautiful woman - but she didn't seem to know it. She had a terrible lack of self-esteem and it seemed to get worse with each unsuccessful relationship. She and Josh had broken up almost a year ago and she had hardly dated since. Internet dating was very appealing to Lynn because it allowed her to get to know people without all the pressures of physical appearance and body language that come into play when meeting face to face. She liked to get to know a man from the inside first and internet dating was the ideal way to do that.

She had been selective about the sites she joined. She spent a great deal of time comparing and contrasting the most popular websites and had actually taken the time to sign up with a few small ones, as well. They struck her as being less of a "meat market" and more of an online community. Over time, she had developed some very close friendships with a few men but didn't have romantic feelings for any of them. "Oh well," Lynn thought to herself as she logged in to check her messages, "you can't have too many friends!"

"You have 10 new zaps," her screen informed her. "Why on earth do they call them zaps?" she laughed quietly as she opened her mailbox. There were a couple of site advertisements and a couple of messages from existing friends. Then, there was something new. "Hmmm," she thought, as she clicked the embedded profile link. She felt like her stomach dropped to her knees when she saw the photo. It was Josh. Her Josh. The Josh who had broken her heart when he told her he had to accept a job transfer and move away. It had been a whole year. How had he found her? She read his message. "Lynn, you're every bit as beautiful as the day I had to leave you. I've missed you so very much. Your smile, your kiss, everything about you. I heard through the grapevine that you were on this site and I thought maybe this would be a way to regain contact with you since you never answered my letters. If you get this message, will you please write to me? I'd really like to hear from you, Lynn. Love, Josh."

Many minutes passed as Lynn stared at the screen with tears in her eyes. She had missed him too. She hadn't answered his letters because she was hurt and she thought a long-distance relationship would be too painful. But sitting here, looking into those eyes, Lynn knew why she'd been so unsuccessful at finding a new relationship. She was still very much in love with Josh. Summoning up her courage, Lynn clicked "reply" and started to type. She had very little to lose and, judging by how she felt in the moment, very much to gain.